Still no AF....

So AF has still not made an appearance, but I am worried that I may have gotten my hopes up too early... A month ago I started on Synthyroid to treat my low thyroid... This is my first cycle since I have been on the meds and I am worried that maybe it has messed up my cycle and that is why I am late.... I am supposed to go to a big Halloween bash tomorrow night so I am going to test tomorrow afternoon so I know one way or the other.... Wish my luck for seeing 2 pinks lines!!!

~Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.~
Buddha

Scared to Pee!!!

Well I am 15 DPO and still no AF... This may not seek like much but for someone who is waiting to see two link lines this is an eternity... I am at the point that everytime I need to pee I am scared that AF might be there too... Sorry if that is TMI,but hey this is my blog so I can say what I want to....

~FACT: Men somehow lose the ability to do anything right during their spouse's time of the month.~

Unknown

More Like Frustrated Bridesmiad, Not Blushing

I figured I should explain how I chose the title for the blog... Well everyone has heard the saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride"... Well for me I got married back in July 2008 without ever having been a bridesmaid... Now my husband’s sister announced her engagement a few months ago and asked me to be her MOH... I am super excited about being a bridesmaid and getting to help her plan things and organize things like the shower and bachelorette party…But also worried about the timing as I don't want to be the knocked up bridesmaid.... I have visions of waddling down the aisle as "2 Tonne Tessy" and really it is not a pretty thought…

She was debating between the idea of doing a destination w4edding next summer in 2010 or a wedding at home in Ottawa in 2011. I was trying to steer her towards the at home option for two very selfish reasons:

1) Chris and I had a destination wedding so I don’t want her to copy us

2) I am hoping to be preggers by next summer and flying to a tropical destination for a wedding is not something I would consider in the final trimester

I breathed a sigh of relief when she finally announced a few weeks ago that they have decided to go with doing a wedding at home so more friends and family can attend meaning I have lots of time for a bun in the oven….

All seemed to be going smoothly until DH’s brother dropped the bombshell 2 weeks ago that they are planning a destination wedding for the end of July next year… What the heck, I dodged one bullet just to get nailed again…. The problem is that his brother does not know that we are TTC so it is not like he did it on purpose…. So now we are stuck trying to figure out if we should say something and hope his brother changes the date or just keep quiet…. If I am already preggers then the little one would be due 07/07/10 which would be amazing as that is our 2 year anniversary…. If I am not preggers then we need to decide if we want to wait a few months so that I would only be a few moths pregnant come the time of the wedding so I could fly… I really don’t want to put our plans on hold but there is no way I could travel with a 3 week old baby and although I told DH he could still go to the wedding I really don’t want him to be gone for a week when the baby would be that young….

But really I am getting ahead of myself yet since I don’t even know if I am pregnant yet… Oh yeah did I mention my period is a day late???

~A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~
Mignon McLaughlin 

What No One Told Me About Trying to Conceive

I found this while reading Jackie's Blog: Is It My Turn Yet? about trying to conceive (TTC) so I thought I would post it here too.  They originally got it from The Nest:

That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That my sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That the longer I try to conceive, the more pregnant women spring up around me.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living my life in two week increments would be the normal thing to do.

That I never knew how much I wanted to see those 2 pink lines...until only one shows up every month.

That I have no control over some of the goals I set.

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen.

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started trying to conceive earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That it wouldn't happen the first time I didn't use birth control like I was led to believe in school.

That I wouldn't know how important a baby was to me until it took so long, and I realized what I was willing to go through to make it happen.

That my husband is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are going to try having a baby!

They might be trying and having difficulties just like me!

That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That simply relaxing will NOT get me pregnant.

That I could have been rich by saving the money I spent on condoms/birth control pills, which were obviously unnecessary. That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in Florida by now.

That having my period show up would make me cry, no matter whose bathroom I was in.

That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to trying to conceive.

That talking about sex with fellow women who are trying to conceive would be so easy.

That one day all of this will make me stronger.

That no one I know would have any understanding as to how I feel.

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pregnancies, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pregnancies. That someone I thought to be my best friend would hurt me by saying that she was sick of hearing about my efforts at trying to conceive.

That some people just say the wrong things.

That I would be so sad.

That my friendship with my real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks. That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things I will ever have to go through.

That I HAVE to have sex even though I don't feel like it.

That HAVING sex with my husband is not an option for getting pregnant.

That people would pity me and feel sorry for me.

That I would feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".

That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so badly

That it does not get easier ... each cycle is harder than the last.

I am happy to be able to say that we are only at the beginning of our journey so there are lots of items on that list I cannot relate to (yet?).  To all those who are TTC I send Baby Dust your way and hopefully a bit will sprinkle on me too!

~The earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it.~
Chief Joseph

Lost my Blogging Virginity

Well I decided to give in and join the technology craze and start a blog... I have not quite decided yet what exactly I am going to blog about... For now I figure I will use it for whatever comes to mind...

First off My name is Jennifer, I am 27 years old and I live in downtown Toronto with my husband Chris and our 5 year old Yellow Lab named Austin.... We have been married since 2008 and we decided it is time to start trying for a baby... Actually we decided about 6 months ago but we have had a few setbacks since then....

I think I have said enough for now... I still need to figure out things like how to change the layout and the colours on this thing... If anyone actually reads this I could love to know, it would be kinda cool to know that someone is reading!!!

Cheers!
Jenny~Bear

~We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.~
Henry Ward Beecher